Why I think religion is such bullshit

I've had a hard time putting a single reason on why I feel like religion is utter crap and I just think I had a revelation so to speak. It's because every rule God puts forth is fucking retarded.
Do you really think that eating pork is going to come into question on judgment day? Why does it even matter, does context matter? Let's say I was about to die of starvation and I call out to God to please save me. Next thing I know a beautiful suckling pig saunters by, all made from delicious pork. I mean people have eaten human flesh, excrement, bugs, seeds and so on to stay alive, I'm fairly sure a nice side of bacon tastes a fuckload better and is less disgusting.

God helps those who help themselves, so I'm helping myself to a big BLT right now.

Deuteronomy 5:6–21

" you shall have no other gods before me.

Ok. but am I allowed to test other faiths? I guess not. This kind of reminds me of the tales I've read from North Korea where people think they are better off than everyone else, while in reality I would rather spend a few years in an American maximum security prison than in North Korea. Sure in the Maximum security prison I will most likely get raped in every way imaginable and a few unimaginable ones, but at least I get 3 meals a day, sufficient clothing,  decent heat, and health/dental care.
In North Korea I risk being sent to a secret government detention center in the middle of fucking nowhere and slowly get worked, beaten and starved to death, in between bouts of torture. Oh and even if I don't get tossed in a prison camp, I'll most likely starve, freeze, have toothaches, and die from illnesses that are more or less eradicated in the west.
Wouldn't an all powerful all knowing God have slightly more confidence in his own message, that he is willing to let us explore freely all avenues of faith?

God strikes me as using the same tools Stalin, Kim Jong Il and numerous other dictators have used throughout history.

8 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me,

10 but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

I suppose this one leaves little up to interpretation, you are not to make an idol for yourself period. So Star Wars action figures, Transformers, every hot little piece of celebrity ass on posters, cars, houses, ANYTHING we idolize is against God, because he is to be our only idol. And damn you if you worship anything else!

That's fucking harsh isn't it? Punishing the children for what the parents have done, not just in 1 generation, but grandchildren, great grandchildren, great great grandchildren. Let me demonstrate if your Great Great grandfather, IE Your fathers, fathers, father, yes it's complicated I know. Basically the dude who fathered your grandfather's father, got handed a gun by Billy the Kid back in the 1850's which he loved and idolized and as such it became the most valued possession in his life. Now God is going to punish the shit out of you.

11 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name. 

If you ever used the phrase "Oh my God", "Dear Lord!" or any other use of God's name in any situation where you are not calling for him specifically, you are screwed.




12 Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you.

13 For six days you shall labour and do all your work.

14 But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you.

15 Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day.

Seriously? I guess ambulance drivers, doctors, the military, basically any job which requires 24/7 activity in to some degree condemns you to hell. How about farmers who had to feed the livestock on Sunday so they didn't starve?
What if, let's say I'm on a trip with one of my little cousins and he falls and breaks his leg, am I going to hell if I roughly bandage/splint it and carry him to the nearest doctors office?



16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

What if your father and mother are not worth honoring? I love my parents more than anything, but we frequently disagree on things and have lively discussions about them. How about parents that abuse their children? Should the child honor them as well?

17 You shall not murder.

Fair enough, how about the crusades, the inquisition, the countless people murdered in the name of God since his first appearance? How about Jihad, suicide bombers, the current "war" between Israel and Palestine. It hardly leaves much up to context or to situation does it?
Let's say that someone breaks into your house, rapes your wife and kids, then tells you he's going to kill them right before your eyes, are you still not allowed to try and kill the fucker, and if you succeed at saving your families life, you are now condemned to hell.

18 Neither shall you commit adultery. 

The Bible is full of adultery, David comes to mind as a prime example. There is also the situation and the context of that adultery. If someone puts a gun to your families head, and says that if your wife doesn't sleep with him he'll kill all of you and she sleeps with him. She is now heading on an express train to hell.
How about if someone is forced to marry someone they do not love, have anything in common with and so on and meet someone whom they do share that special connection?

I'm not giving cheating bastards and bitches a pass here, because for the most part cheating comes as a result of people having no fucking self control and lacking the moral fiber to tell the person they are in a relationship with that they want to split up. But I do suppose there are situations where it can be justified or even judged as the correct action.

19 Neither shall you steal. 

Again, how about context? The Church both catholic, protestant, Greek orthodox, Russian Orthodox whatever have at some point used their power to obtain things they were not justified to obtain. I'm not going to hand out a laundry list of examples of this its evident if you read a history book.

Also what if someone is starving to death, is it wrong for them to in desperation steal food for themselves? No not really unless them stealing the food means someone else is starving. How about if someone is out walking with their grandfather and he collapses in the middle of nowhere. The person runs to a nearby farm and finds that nobodies home but sees a car with the keys in the ignition outside? Does the person really deserve to be sent to hell because he or she "stole" a car to rush their grandfather to the hospital?



20 Neither shall you bear false witness against your neighbor.

How about if your neighbor is really a Fred West like bastard, and you know that something is up but you're not sure what? Is it really a bad thing to call in a little phonecall and send the cops to his place? If people are getting hurt by you following the commandments then they are causing evil acts aren't they?

21 Neither shall you covet your neighbor’s wife. Neither shall you desire your neighbor’s house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

This is the hardest one to follow to be honest. Covet is defined by dictionary.com as wrongfully desiring something. Now I don't know about the rest of you, but I covet a lot of things belonging to my neighbor frequently. Not necessarily my actual neighbor. For instance I saw a really hot married chick at the grocery store the other day and I coveted her quite wrongfully and graphically in the shower later that day.

I covet my neighbors house all the time, he has a sauna, a full size media room with a bar and a very well equipped channel package.

I've never really coveted someone's slave, male or female mostly because if you have literal slaves IE people you literally OWN, not like "0wn3d" in CounterStrike. That's a fuckload worse than coveting someone elses wife, and eating pork, and stealing a loaf of bread, or saying "Oh My God!".


You see the one thing all of these have in common is that they do not take into account context, they don't give a shit about justifiable acts and so on. They do not even make sense! It's much worse to actually RAPE your neighbors wife, or kid, or donkey, than to covet them.
It's much worse to starve to death rather than eat pork. It's a fuckload worse to trick people who can't do fractions into mortgages they cannot pay or even understand.  I'd much rather have a girl with a little experience, who is open about things, who can see things from more than 1 point of view and who educates herself on things, than I would want Sarah Palin.
It's not that I have anything against women in politics, I like Hilary Clinton, I like Madeleine Albright,  I'm not sure if I liked Condoleeza, but she is probably as close to Dick Cheney with tits as you can get.
Sarah Palin talks like she literally had her mind blown.

I'd say keeping your own daughter locked up in the basement while raping her is a bit more evil than say killing her right away, because odds are after 20+ years of rape and torture, not being able to see sunlight, not being able to go outside etc the odds of having a decent life is pretty fucked. Any guy who isn't going to lock you up in a basement and rape you is kind of a catch you know.
It's a hell of a lot worse to invade multiple countries and so on than to kill a couple of people.

So in short while modern laws are too complex, the commandments and bible show a very "teenage" human mindset, not the one of an all powerful being.