Ok women, you say you want a thoughtful, feeling man

Here is about 10 seconds of my internal monologue from earlier, while I was talking to a co-worker:

Hmm she just touched her hair, that's usually a sign of interest, but then again she might just have wanted to push it out of her face, oh wait there it is again, that is a pretty sure sign, but then again I could be mistaking, I have been prone to assuming the outcome I want. Oh she's resting her head on her hand now, better get her involved in the conversation again, I could bring up music or films but that's so general that its more or less a cliché by now, and just puts me in a box with every other douchebag around this office, psychology is always interesting, but I need to keep it toned down on a layman's level so she doesn't feel stupid, or ask questions I can't answer.
I also don't want to show off how nerdy I can actually be this early because it might ruin the flow of conversation and the frame in which she sees me which would not be good for the eventual outcome. 
Now I need to find a topic within psychology... oh wait she's licking her lips now, definably a good sign, anyway I need a topic that's engaging, interesting and holds the possibility of bringing up more intimate subjects, which could open the door for moving this relationship forward, oh her pupils are dilated that's another sign of interest. 

Ok I think I can cut it off there, my point being that I consider myself very much a thinking man, who is in touch with his emotions. When I say "In touch with his emotions" I don't mean "Will curl up, watch Sleepless in Seattle, and have a good cry" I mean "Will bring you chocolate, tell you that you're pretty and hug you when you're down".

My point being that those 2 also makes me a fairly complex person, and also a pain to deal with sometimes, since I have a long ongoing affair with sarcasm (Don't tell her but I'm nailing her sister Irony on the side) I have a knack for making witty situational observations, which can be a hazard at certain social gatherings, when I may blurt out inappropriate thoughts. As an example:

"Hmm why do Christians have burials when the Bible clearly states that the body is but a vessel for the soul, and once the soul departs the body the body is an empty shell, so in essence you people are crying over an empty fucking shell!"

Quite an interesting observation at a liberal discussion group, not so much at a funeral.